On Saturday I wrote a column about WNBA stars Brittney Griner and Glory Johnson getting engaged. On Monday it was re-published by AOL News to a much wider audience. The early reader reactions to a young couple in love were filled with your usual anti-gay hate; “freaks,” “perverts,” “disgusting.” But then, just as I was losing hope in the internet as a medium for information, a light emerged in the form of ridicule and shame, and more importantly, a group as vocal and frustrated as the anti-gay movement, willing to fight on the side of athletes brave enough to live life openly fully expecting the inevitable reaction we’ve seen all too often.
We know, understanding what little we do about statistics, that a significant percentage of the population is gay. Silly arguments about sports being “masculine” aside, we confidently know there are athletes that are gay that are not willing to “come out” because of the unavoidable animosity and ridicule. While those watching athletes like Griner, as well as other young stars like Michael Sam and Chip Sarrafin, and long-time veterans like Jason Collins, come out and be greeted with genuinely approving reaction from the media and countless fans, closeted gay athletes can’t help but also notice the vitriol simultaneously thrown those same athletes’ way.
When Michael Sam kissed his boyfriend after being drafted by the Rams, just as every previously drafted player who had a partner beside them did, many viewers reacted with the same Target-boycotting hate we’ve unfortunately come to expect.
When Griner first came out, the haters were quick to say “You’re disgusting,” “Ur a man,” “What are you? #man? #ape?”
Upon reading my piece in support of Griner and Johnson willing to be as courageously open about living as they are as they have been, some of the initial reactions included:
Rpib89: “This is just sick and wrong.”
Mgt0331: “More homo-nonsense from the media.”
BugleBob: “At the end of the day – freaks – that’s all, just freaks.”
Camginc: “WN be Gay!” (Probably patted himself on the back after that one too)
Kimcrdr: “These sick people make the news every day!!”
Zapata Family: “Whats wrong with finding a real man… That is nasty”
Jeb: “I think I’m gonna be sick.”
I was quickly reminded of exactly why gay athletes worried about coming out remain silent. Quickly, the usual close-minded individuals unwilling to just let a loving couple be opined that a) they’re disgusting perverts and freaks, b) at the very least, unlike every heterosexual couple, they must keep their love private because it is, essentially, “icky.”
To the athletes that see this and grow disillusioned, I have just this to say: What initially appeared a hopelessly lost cause that was immediately met with intolerance quickly turned into a war of words between the haters and those who have grown much too tired of this bigotry.
Like many “straight” Americans, I don’t think much about the strife of gay Americans in the same way I don’t think much of gay Americans’ sexuality. It doesn’t affect me. Because even more liberal-minded straight people simply don’t experience the hate that gay Americans experience, much in the way white people don’t truly understand black people’s relationship with the police or Phillies fans don’t understand why they keep paying Ruben Amaro’s salary, only those that are strongly against gay rights have been the most vocal.
Until now.
Why cover this story, some commenters asked.
Because sports has nothing to do with politics. There are countless stories published about straight athletes getting engaged or married with zero negative reaction. Like many other men, I have no interest or opinion on what gay people do with their lives no more than I have an interest or opinion on what my friend, let’s call him “Justin,” likes to have done to him by strange women. But most sports fans, like the rest of America, aren’t unsympathetic brutes. When we see the intolerance invade our sports sites, forums, and social media, we can’t help but tell those same people to go take their opinion back to their preferred Ann Coulter fan site of choice.
Within minutes of the initial hate rearing its ugly head, those readers became just as vocal as the side that has dominated this debate for far too long.
JDsept: “’We don’t (need this)?’ Who ordained YOU to speak for WE?”
Lenny: “You should be allowed to be with your soul mate, whoever that should be.”
ZilkoLaw: “Good grief, people. If it doesn’t touch your life, don’t worry about it.”
ChristyE: “They’re a cute couple! Good luck! Stay strong and persevere!”
Rarouff: “These women must cause feelings of anxiety among the guys out there who don’t have a woman. Relax guys, you’ll get someone.”
On the same day that I felt like I was losing hope in ever seeing a mainstream American public on the right side of history, my faith in just that was instead strengthened. Every negative comment was greeted with the same ridicule the original commenter had targeted at Griner and Johnson.
I understand the athletes that are too concerned about the hostility and mockery worry about that inevitable flow of hate too much to “come out.” But those same athletes should also realize that there is a growing contingent of fans that are willing to support and fight for them, just as there are sportswriters who are willing to do battle and editors who not only allow but encourage them.
In the very-recent past, “coming out” to a gay athlete was far too isolating a prospect. No longer. The gay rights debate in this country is no longer dominated by the side of intolerance, largely thanks to the likes of Collins, Sam, and Griner for bringing that topic to sports fans just as they and many others have for many average news readers that otherwise would have no idea the animus these young people are facing.
Griner and Johnson knew the type of hate this would bring, just as this naïve sportswriter now does. But they had also learned prior to this that upon the news of their engagement, the rhetoric wouldn’t be monopolized by those spewing hate. Too slowly but surely the tide is shifting and the average American that doesn’t need to have everything they see fit perfectly into their political narrative is finally starting to drown out the scorn that countless completely unaffected individuals feel the need to fill internet comments with.
Hopefully, young athletes can learn a lesson from this, more important than the one I have. There is virtue in being brave enough to live as you are, it’s essentially an American ideal. There are those that seek to disparage anything that makes them uncomfortable at every step, but there is a rising movement of both sports fans and average Americans with no interest in sports ready to back you up on the message boards just as there are teammates ready to back you up come game time.
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